Growing up.

It's really interesting sitting back and simply watching your kids. In my mind, I am still a kid and sometimes it's hard to believe I am a mom of two. I see through the same eyes even though clearly I am nearing the age of twenty six and have grown up responsibilities (but I'll admit, I can get along well with four year olds).

My daughter had a spring performance at her school today. It was adorable. Some of the kids sang, some did not. Some shouted "I see you, mommy!". Carly sat there and shyly waved at me, my mom, and my husband. It was an emotional mommy moment, seeing my first child on stage with her classmates. At that moment she was not only my first born but she was also a little girl; her own person.

The older I get the more I understand my own mom and why she always cried at my school plays and gymnastics and any major milestones. It's a big deal watching your children grow up. When you see them apart from you it becomes apparent how you're doing as a mom or dad and the mannerisms they develop from watching you - and ofcourse, you see their own incredible little personalities.

Carly is currently standing on a stool in the kitchen with my mom. They are shucking corn. I love being a mom and I love having the family that I have. My children have the opportunity to learn and experience so many things because of the people in their lives. I've learned a lot about being a mom from my own mother. I appreciate her more and more every day.

Update

Well, my initial plan was to update more frequently than once a year. In my defense, it was one hell of a year. I will use this new post as a quick update. Two days after Chrustmas, we moved into our new home (me being 8.5 months pregnant). It is amazing and I want to stay here forever. We are now a family of six. Alivia Grace was born on January 19, 2012 at 5:25pm after six hours of hard labor. I had been in early labor for days and my midwife told me it would happen at any time. She ended up coming a week before her due date weighing 7lbs, 2oz. I got the epidural when I was about 4-5 centimeters dilated but it wore off within an hour. By the time I was ready to push, I felt every thing. She is now three months old and my life is absolutely wonderful. It was hard at first for me to adjust to having two children full time. Carly was obsessed with the new baby and wouldn't give either of us any space. It wore me out. It was a huge challenge learning to balance my four year olds wants and needs with the primal and constant needs of a newborn. With my husbands help and that of my family, we all got through and we have found a new normal. I am still primarily nursing. Alivia is small so the pediatrician suggested supplementing with formula once in a while. Carly has calmed down and has become the biggest help imaginable. She actually gets uneasy now whenever someone other than me holds the baby. The boys think the baby is precious and hold her whenever they can. The school year is coming to an end and Carly will be moving up in her preschool. In another year, she will be starting kindergarten. She has done really well in school and has made a lot of friends and learned a ton. I am so glad that I listened to my instincts and put her in school when I did. She has benefited tremendously. My dad is now living in Washington state but came to visit his new grand baby when she was just two weeks old. I miss him a lot. Our relationship is better now than it has been in almost a decade. I am thankful for that. My mom has joined the cyber world! She has a facebook and has recently connected with a lot of old friends. I am proud of her and love reading her posts. Other than that, our lives are just very busy on a daily basis. But I am beyond happy in nearly every way possible.